Monday, November 21, 2011

How things change

This has been a year of transformation for me, especially in my running. It just isn't what it used to be for me. It was once a way to validate myself, a way to feel a sense of self worth, experience competition, to set and achieve goals. Not so much these days. Suffering through many bouts of injuries over the past 6 years, I've been broken down. This last one, my foot problem, has kept me from running like I've wanted to for the past 6 months. I'm tired of fighting it and running in fear of re-injuring it. Instead, I've slowed down and tried to enjoy running for other reasons - for physical and mental health, for weight maintenance, for social time, and for being outdoors. I also just simply like to run to run. When all is going well and I can run without pain, I feel happy. I like moving my body, finding a good cadence, clearing my mind, sweating it out, and feeling the wind on my face. Time goals are not my focus right now. Running free - free from injury, doubts, worry, and fear - that is my new goal. It feels different, weird, unnatural at times, but I'm kinda liking it. No schedule, no rules, just me and the road ahead. Let's see where it leads.